


I can see the stars when I'm gazing at you

by Of_stars_and_moon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Muslim Character, Oblivious James Potter, POV James Potter, Pining, muslim james potter, muslim jily, muslim lily evans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26946181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Of_stars_and_moon/pseuds/Of_stars_and_moon
Summary: “Thank you.” Wait what? Should he have said that? “I mean that's beautiful- The hijab and the brooch I mean...It looks really beautiful.”“So eloquent,” he heard Sirius mutter under his breath, and the fact that he didn't even glare at him told a lot about what mess he was right now. But like, Lily was right here, he couldn't really think much clearly right now(Nine moments from the life of James Potter and Lily Evans as they slowly came together)
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 22
Kudos: 82





	I can see the stars when I'm gazing at you

**Author's Note:**

> Look at me finally posting something for marauders on ao3 again! It's like a multiple era fic going from their first year till Harry is born. What war? I don't know her  
> Tw: Brief mentions of islamophobia and implied child abuse (sirius' parents are mentioned briefly)

The first time James Potter saw Lily Evans, he was surprised and a little awed.

  
  


He was standing in the great hall with the three boys he met in the train, still reeling from seeing Hogwarts in all its majestic beauty for the first time and the happiness he felt at meeting these new friends that didn't seem to judge him. They were all nervous though, Sirius, sitting on the Gryffindor table which shocked almost everyone, kept glancing at his cousins sitting on the Slytherin table, Peter was biting his fingernails, looking around with wide eyes, Remus kept avoiding eye contact with anyone and looked like he wanted to hide somewhere, and James, well he was used to the looks he got for his color and when someone found out about his religion, but being here made him feel even more different. 

Then he heard Professor McGonagall call, "Lily Evans" and a girl with a red hijab walked up to the sorting hat. 

James felt a mixture of relief and excitement, akin to how he felt when he met the others in the train, like a sense of belonging. There was another Muslim student in their year! 

His happiness only elevated when she was sorted into Gryffindor. They were going to be in the same house, as he had no doubt he would be sorted into Gryffindor too. 

As she walked towards the Gryffindor table, another first year girl muttered something that James couldn't catch but by the snickers of that girl's friends. it wasn't anything good. 

Turning to her, Evans gave her the coldest glare James had ever seen, and said, "Sorry I didn't hear what you said. Could you speak a little louder?" 

_ Damn. _

Although she was the same height as Evans, the girl seemed to shrink, and her friends looked slightly freaked out. 

"I said, could you repeat what you said a little louder," Evans said again. 

"I..I didn't...er... It was nothing...Sorry," the girl managed out, turning redder by the second. 

Rolling her eyes, Evans continued walking to the table, leaving James blinking at her.

"That was badass," Remus muttered besides him, and James nodded dumbly. 

\---

The first time James Potter talked to Lily Evans, he predictably said something wrong. 

It was their third day at Hogwarts and he was walking back from a class when he saw her in the corridor. 

He gave her a small smile, but then realized that she probably didn't even know him and could think he's crazy so he said, "Asalamualaikum." 

Her emerald eyes widened a little, before a smile broke on her face. "Walaikumasalam," she greeted back. 

"I'm James Potter. Though I guess you already know that from the sorting." 

She nodded, adjusting her hijab. "I'm Lily." 

They exchanged small conversation about their classes, and were interrupted by Snape walking to them. 

"Lily? Are we going to study in the library?" he asked, looking at James in distaste. 

"Yeah, I was just heading there, Severus," she replied. 

James frowned at that. Since they had stumbled across Snape in the train and he had commented on the scar on Remus' face with a sneer, he had a bad feeling about him. 

"You're friends with him?" he blurted out. 

Evans turned to him and okay, when that cold glare was turned on him, it wasn't nearly as satisfying. "Yes, I am," she replied. "What's your problem with that?" 

"um...Nothing, I was just...surprised." 

She huffed in frustration and walked away, Snape following her.

\---

The first time James Potter had a proper conversation with Lily Evans, it was Shab-e-Qadr. 

The first Ramadan at Hogwarts was a new and an exciting experience; on the first day, the marauders woke up with him to accompany him to sehri and they all tried the cuisines served there and were amazed by the taste. James couldn't fast on all days because though they were allowed to leave class for prayers, studying was still tiring and since his parents always told him to fast only if he could, he fasted for ten days in between. He saw Lily sometimes on sehri and they exchanged small smiles and the usual greetings. Turned out, when he kept his mouth shut, he was actually polite.

On Shab-e-Qadr, the marauders followed him to the great hall, where prayer mats were spread and the ceiling was a replica of the starry night and the waning moon. The house tables were removed, a long curtain draped in the middle to separate praying areas for boys and girls, and there were tables with Qurans and islamic books to read. James looked around in awe and walked over to Ahmad, a ravenclaw prefect boy who usually was the imam during their prayers.

“Ahmad baya, this looks amazing!” James said inurdu.

Ahmad was from Pakistan and he spoke Urdu so he could understand James; it was really nice to be able to talk to someone in his native language. Ahmad treated him like a younger brother, so James had started calling him  _ baya _ . They often spent a long time talking about their countries and how they could have been from one same country if it wasn't for partition. James’ parents had told him a little about the partition but they never really elaborated because they said that James was too young to hear about that, and the things he knew sounded terrifying so he couldn't imagine how worse it could have been. Ahmad’s parents were from Kashmir and they had gone to Pakistan during partition and he said that he did know a lot about partition and agreed that it would be better that James did not know about it yet.

“Thanks! We spent most of the day preparing this,” Ahmad told him. 

“Wasn't it even more tiring when you’re fasting?” James asked. He was always so amazed when he saw his parents doing work during fasts, but they said that you get used to it, and he’d too one day. 

Ahmad’s response was also along the same lines; “It was, but it gets easy. You'll see when you get older. ”

  
  
  


The marauders had decided that they would try to stay awake with him till sunrise, but around midnight, Remus started nodding off and he looked weary like he did sometimes when he went to visit his sick mother, so he told them that they should go to sleep.

After they agreed and left, he sat down to read the Quran. But after some time, he started feeling drowsy, so he decided to go to the kitchens, which had been kept open so that students could eat during the night if they wanted. As he entered, there were a few students taking tea and hot chocolate, and he smiled as he saw Lily there too. 

“Hey,” he said, taking a cup of hot chocolate.

"Hi," Lily said, smiling, then, looking at the excess sugar he put in the mug, added, "Sleepy?" 

He nodded, rubbing his eyes. "I have never offered Shab for the whole night, I always felt sleepy and my parents told me to sleep. But there are so many other students here, so the hustle bustle is good." 

"Yeah, I only tried to Shab once last year with my aunt, but I fell asleep as well and she didn't wake me till noon."

"With your aunt?" James asked. 

"Yeah, my parents aren't Muslim. My aunt converted three years ago and when I told her that I wanted to as well, she helped me." 

"Wow that's great!" he breathed out.

"Oh, thanks," she said, looking a little surprised, and he decided that he needed to compliment her more because she was amazing and deserved to know that.

They stayed there for some time, talking about their past Eids and other events, then went to the Great Hall and continued reading the Quran. 

For the rest of Ramadan, they ate sehri and iftyar sitting side by side. 

\---

The first time James Potter saw Lily Evans cry, he wanted to punch something, preferably her sister.

She was in the owlery when he walked in, a letter clutched in her hands and eyes filled with tears. Her scarf was wrapped loosely around her head, fluttering from the wind blowing around. 

"Hey, are you okay?" 

Startling, she quickly rubbed her eyes. "Yeah, I- I'm fine. I didn't expect you to be here." 

"I needed to send a letter," he replied. "You can tell me if something is wrong. Did someone say something?" 

She shook her head. "No, it's just...My sister isn't happy that I came here for second year, too. She had thought I'd stop." 

Why wouldn't her sister want her to come here again? "She misses you that much?"

She let out a humourless laugh at that. "Not at all. She's glad to get rid of me." 

_ Oh _ . James remembered Sirius' excitement on the first day of second year when Regulus had come to Hogwarts too, and how that slowly disappeared after Regulus was sorted into Slytherin and spent time with his cousins. He didn't have a sibling but the Marauders were like his brothers, he couldn't imagine what he would do if they'd hate him. 

"She...She didn't like it when I started showing signs of magic, and then after I converted, I became even more of a freak for her." 

"Well, she is a bitch," James exclaimed, filled with anger and helplessness. It was like when Sirius got a letter from his parents and he would shut in himself and not tell them what was wrong, or when Remus looked not only uncomfortable but also scared when people would stare at his scars and whisper something, or when older students would bully and make fun of Peter. He wanted to help his friends and if that meant fighting the world, he'd do it. 

Lily looked slightly surprised, probably because James didn't usually swear. 

"She shouldn't say these terrible things, especially to her own sister. I'm...What about your parents?" he asked, desperately hoping the answer wouldn't be something like the excuses Sirius gave. 

She must have heard hesitation in his voice, as she quickly said, "They are very supporting, don't worry about it." 

"Don't they stop your sister from saying those things?" 

"They don't know she thinks that. They just think she's jealous that I can use magic and she can't." 

"That's bad," he muttered. "I wish there was something I could do." 

"It's okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "That's why being here is so great because I know there are people like me. So it helps." 

James nodded in understanding. "I still could hex her, she deserves that." 

She let out a small chuckle. "Thanks for the offer, but it's okay." 

They fell silent for a while before James said, "Do you want to talk more about it, or would you want me to distract you? I've been told I'm quite annoying when I keep talking." 

"You truly are," she said with a teasing smile. "I'd like that." 

So he started talking about random things, about the Marauders, about his family, about his classes, till his throat felt dry and her smile looked more genuine. 

\---

The first time James Potter cried in front of Lily Evans, everything was falling apart.

He sat in the quiet library, head dropped down on his arms, his body aching with exhaustion and the bruises. His mind was filled with images of the past night, running after Snape to stop him from reaching the shack but almost being too late, catching a glimpse of the wolf before he pushed the door closed and held it tightly as the wolf threw itself against it over and over, Snape’s pale and shaken face after that and his repeated “That was Lupin”, Dumbledore’s grim expressions when they told him. But worst of it was seeing Sirius and Remus after that. James had gone back to the dorm where Sirius had started apologizing and asking if Remus was okay, the words had been toned out by the raging anger James felt. 

"How could you do this to him, Sirius? He trusted you. He loves you for god's sake!" he had exclaimed. 

"I didn't mean to. I would never- I wasn't thinking and it was just supposed to be a joke!" Sirius had urged. "I didn't think Snape would believe me!" 

He had pressed his hands to the wall behind him firmly to stop himself from punching Sirius, and Sirius, noticing that, had muttered, "Punch me, I know I deserve it." 

"It won't help anyone," James had said, shaking his head, because no matter how much Sirius had fucked up, James wouldn't do that. He wouldn't be another person that would hurt Sirius, even after what had happened. He had just told Sirius to stop apologizing because he wasn't the person who he should apologize to, and left the room, the sounds of Sirius' choked sobs following him.

Then he and Peter had stood by Remus’ bedside table till he woke, and after he had asked where Sirius was, they had told him what happened. James would never forget the fear and panic in Remus’ eyes as he asked about Snape, but after they assured him he was okay, that fear morphed into raw hurt and anger as he fully comprehended their words. 

“Sirius, wouldn't… he wouldn't do this to me,” he had whispered in a small trembling voice, and James wished so desperately that it was all just a bad nightmare. 

“James?” he heard someone call, and he looked up, blinking against the tears, to find Lily standing there in a plain grey kurta and dupatta loosely wrapped around her head, strands of her red hair escaping.

She kneeled down besides him, her eyes sad. “I went to check on Remus and he told me what happened. I'm so sorry about everything.”

He knew that she was aware of Remus’ lycanthropy but he had forgotten that she visited him in the mornings after the full moon too. “He's awake?” he asked, rubbing his cheeks. “I should check on him.” 

“James, it's okay. Peter is there with him and Madam Pomfrey gave him another sleeping potion so he is probably asleep. You need to take care of yourself too. You can't wear yourself out taking care of them.”

“I'll be okay. I'm just...” he drifted off and bit his lip hard, not knowing how to word all his thoughts. 

“You can talk to me if you want,” she offered gently. 

“I... I just don't know what to do,” he said shakily. “Sirius fucked up big time, and I know he feels terrible but I don't know how he will fix it. Remus is so hurt and angry, and rightfully so, that was one of the worst things Sirius could do to him...But now they are both hurting and I don't know how to help them. And Remus is scared about what Snape will do now, and it's all just such a mess.” Taking off his glasses, he pressed his palms tightly to his eyes to stop the tears, but they kept falling. 

“If you think that will help, I'll talk to Severus.”

At that, he quickly removed his hands and shook his head. “No, you shouldn't have to talk to him again after what he said to you. Dumbeldore made him swear. I'm sure he won't go against Dumbledore.”

She nodded, asking, “Is there something else I can do then?”

“You don't have to,” be said, adjusting his glasses and rubbing his cheeks. 

“James, I know you love them a lot and want to help them. But you can't always do everything yourself. You're hurting too. I'm here and I want to help you. So let me?”

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he replied, “I...Could you talk to Sirius? I... I don't think I can face him for sometime after all this, but I don't want him to be alone.” He knew Sirius could get drowned in his own thoughts sometimes, and even though he needed to realize how wrong what he did was, he needed someone to tether him to reality and keep him from spiraling into self depreciation. Usually it was Remus with his gentle touches and soft words or James and Peter with their distractions and loud encouragements, but now he didn't have that, and James didn't know what he'd do.

“Sure I will do that. And you all should take the classes off today, I will take the notes for you.”

“Lily...” 

“You said you’ll let me help, so don't argue with me now,” she said firmly. 

"Okay," he murmured, sucking in a deep breath. The crushing helplessness he was feeling till now subsided a little; he didn't know how long it would take things to fix, but they were a family. 

They were going to be okay. 

\---

The first time James Potter realized how gone he was for Lily Evans, he almost fell off his broom.

It was the quidditch final of sixth year against Ravenclaw and like at every match, he glanced towards the strands to wave at Remus, Peter and Lily when he noticed her hijab. It was a maroon one designed with golden snitches and she smiled at him brightly as he flew by. 

She looked breathtaking and he, of course, lost his concentration and the broom stumbled, almost making him fall down. 

“Oh shit,” he yelled, holding on tightly. 

As he regained his balance, Lily was looking at him in concern, while Remus and Peter were trying and failing to stop their laughter.  _ Those gits.  _

He turned away, forcing himself to focus on only the game.

After they won, they met him and Sirius near the strands and congratulated them. James nodded absently, eyes sneaking glances at Lily who looked golden and ethereal under the sunlight. His gaze caught on the brooch holding her hijab and he couldn't stop himself from blurting, “Is that a snitch shaped brooch?”

“It is,” she answered, turning towards him. “I saw it in Hogsmeade last week, along with the hijab and I thought of getting it for your upcoming game.”

James was pretty sure he looked like a deer caught in headlights, and well wasn't that just ironic. “You got it for us?” he asked dumbly. 

“Yeah,” she said, her smile turning a little shy. 

“Thank you.” Wait what? Should he have said that? “I mean that's beautiful- The hijab and the brooch I mean...It looks really beautiful.”

“So eloquent,” he heard Sirius mutter under his breath, and the fact that he didn't even glare at him told a lot about what mess he was right now. But like, Lily was right here, he couldn't really think much clearly right now. 

“Thanks,” she said, a soft smile still on her lips. “I'll see you guys later at the celebration party then?” 

He really hoped she would be wearing the same hijab. Wait would she only wear this for games? When was the next game? Shit there wasn't a game till after the holidays. 

He didn't realize he hadn't responded till Sirius elbowed him sharply and he gasped, bringing a hand up to rub his side. “Yeah, uh... see you then.”

“Allah hafiz.” she gave him one last smile before walking away. 

He waved at her retreating back. “Guys...”

“You're in love, we know,” Sirius finished smugly. 

“You knew?” James asked them.

“Have you heard yourself talk about her?” Peter countered. 

“I... I thought I just liked her like a friend, you know? Because she is very nice.”

“Yeah that's what I thought about Sirius and look where we are now,” Remus said, arm wrapped around Sirius, who blushed at that. 

“Please, there's no way I'm as bad as you two!'' James protested.

“ _ ‘Guys, Lily laughed at a joke I made today and I think I had a minor heart attack and did you see her new kurta _ ?’” Remus mimicked in what Sirius said was a perfect impression of James, but that boy was whipped so who knew.

“Peter, defend me, I'm not as bad as them, right?”

“You are all oblivious idiots, I don't know what to say,” Peter said with a shrug.

James huffed, crossing his arms. His friends were evil. 

\---

The first time James Potter saw Lily Evans’ patronus, he knew this was meant to be.

Well, he always knew Lily was very important to him, and since last year, he knew he wanted to spend his whole life with her, but as he stood in the classroom, his stag patronus galloping around the students, and stared as Lily conjured her patronus and a beautiful doe appeared, he thought his heart might beat right out of his chest. He was vaguely aware of the amazed hushes of the other students, or the excited whoops of his friends, but he couldn't focus on anything other than the awed look in Lily’s eyes as she saw the doe and stag slowly approach each other. As they gently nuzzled each other, Lily turned to him with a soft smile, her eyes flickering with emotions, and James felt his own lips turn up in a goofy smile. 

_ This was it _ . 

Later as they left the class, James, still ecstatic, ran over to lily.

“Hey,” he said breathlessly, still beaming like an idiot.

“Hi,” she said, also smiling widely.

“So there's an hogsmeade visit this weekend,” he said. 

“So I heard,” she said, nodding.

“Would you want to, you know?”

“Would I want to?” she promoted, a teasing glint in her eyes.

He ran a hand through his hair. “You know, go with us.”

“We're having three chaperones then?” she asked, fiddling with her hijab.

Shrugging, he said, “I guess. Wait, are you saying yes?”

She hummed thoughtfully, biting her lower lip. “I don't know. I might have to think about it.”

“Oh.” he tried to not look too disappointed. Shit, maybe he shouldn't have asked right now. 

Then, unexpectedly, she chuckled. “Of course it's a yes, I'm just messing with you.”

“Oh! It's a yes then?” he asked again, and he could hear distant laughter that sounded an awful lot like his friends. Wait weren't they supposed to go back to the dorms? Were they eavesdropping? Shit Sirius would never let him live this down!

“It's a yes,” she said, her smile turning slightly nervous and that pushed every other thought out of James' brain, except a repeated ‘ _ Lily Evans just said yes to a date with me _ !’ 

“Okay, uh...sounds great.”

“Okay then. See you around,” she said, walking away.

\---

The first time James Potter kissed Lily Evans Potter, it was the happiest day of his life. 

His mind was a whirlwind of  _ 'I am married to Lily Evans potter! Lily Evans Potter is married to me! We're married! She looks so beautiful!' _ as the guests started making their way to the reception hall after the nikah ceremony. The marauders left with a teasing, “We’ll give you some minutes but don't keep everyone waiting!”

He brought up a hand to wipe away a tear rolling down her cheek, blinking hard against his own tears. For a moment, he could do nothing but stare at her. Since she had walked in wearing the red lehenga, and the dupatta draped over her shoulders and head, he hadn't been able to look away. 

He leaned his forehead against her. “I can't believe this is actually happening,” he said, voice thick with emotions.

“Me neither,” she whispered, breath falling over his lips.

He closed the gap between them, capturing her lips in a gentle kiss. He felt her sigh against his lips and her hands came up to tangle in his hair as he wrapped his arms around her waist, deepening the kiss. 

\---

Correction: The first time James Potter saw Lily Evans Potter with their child,  _ that  _ was the happiest day of his life. 

He stood at her bedside in the ward as she held Harry in her arms, her hair drenched with sweat and face flushed, a blinding smile on her face as her eyes shone with tears. 

"He's beautiful," she whispered.

"He is. He really is," James replied hoarsely, wiping his eyes. He stared at his wisps of hair, and his tiny lips. He reached out to slowly stroke his hand, and his breath hitched as Harry gripped his finger tightly. 

"I love you both so much," he said, pressing his lips to her forehead. 

"Me too," she said, leaning towards his touch. "He's going to be so spoiled." 

"Absolutely," he agreed. 

"Isn't it lovely that he's born on Arfa? It's going to be our first Eid with him tomorrow," Lily said with a contented sigh. 

"It is," he breathed out. Between the exhaustion from fasting, the worrying about whether Lily and Harry would be okay, and the relief and joy at seeing them now, he had forgotten that tomorrow was Eid. "It's going to be amazing." 

It really would. All his family would be with them tomorrow, along with a new addition who was sure to steal everyone's heart. 

James couldn't have been happier.

**Author's Note:**

> Some notes in case some things weren't clear:  
> —Baya means brother  
> —Ramadan is the month when Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset. Sehri is the meal before sunrise and Iftyar is the meal to break the fast  
> —On Shab-e-Qadr Muslims spend the night praying and reading Quran  
> —Imam is the person who leads the group prayers  
> —India and Pakistan partitioned into two different countries in 1947 (there was terrible conflict) Kashmir is on the border, so some of the population went to Pakistan and some stayed in India  
> —In this fic, Remus and Sirius got together before the Prank, which was sorted out till sixth year  
> —Harry was born a day before Eid ul Fitr in 1981 (isn't that just great?)  
> So I really hope you all liked it! It's my first time writing a long fic with muslim!Jily so kudos and reviews would be really appreciated! And you can find me on Tumblr [ "here"](https://of-stars-and-moon.tumblr.com/)


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